I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she peed on how many people?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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