alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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