i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
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She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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