just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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