Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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