We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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