Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
