party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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