Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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