The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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