Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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