Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
