Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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