put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
