i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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