i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
