with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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