I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
