This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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