My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my shit smells like andre
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
