Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
