i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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