I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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