Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
