youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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