I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
In America we eat man semen.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize