Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
