I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
