Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she told me i tasted like america
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
