no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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