How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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