what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
