Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
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Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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