is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
