You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
