I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
