Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
