So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
