Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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