i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
