I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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