Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
