arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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