physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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