But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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