Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
