she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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