maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
