i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
