It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
