Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
do nipples grow back?
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