Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
