Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
