Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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