I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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