Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
