i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
