And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
