we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
