sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
