the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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