is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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